Don’t say I’m clumsy…

I’ll be the first to admit,

I’m not spatially aware

and my four separate limbs,

somehow outnumber two pair.

‘It is how I was made’,

is my line of defense.

If you deem say I’m clumsy,

well, I’ll just take offense.

I can’t shy from the truth,

there’s just too much carnage.

Nor can I sidestep the blame,

say it’s down to my lineage.

I’ve ruined vintage jackets,

burnt their tassels to a crisp,

I’ve wiped out small children,

even blown up a whisk.

The list is quite endless,

it defies every law

and how I’m still standing,

only adds to my allure.

Because despite certain failings,

I am pretty astute.

Well that’s what I’ll believe

till I’m served a lawsuit.

Make up your own Mind

The kicker of the kicker

is it carries no weight.

It’s all bark

with the bite of a gurner.

It’s simple really.

Life happens.

You can’t dodge it,

can’t press pause.

You can be contrite;

what’s theirs is yours…

You see, I’ve learnt

a thing or two,

not that I’m wise

but I no longer despise

what’s out of my control.

Don’t spread your legs

for a lick and a promise.

Who hasn’t?

Who wouldn’t?

I’d strongly recommend you don’t,

not that you won’t,

make up your own mind.

Stop looking and seek,

eternally speak,

your own truth.

The words that form a lump,

make you palms sweaty,

those thoughts need airing,

‘cos life is short.

So do not get caught

with regrets.

Step out of the charade.

and do not,

under any circumstances,

let anyone,

piss on your parade.