What a fool I had been, but no fool am I now!

As a child I was told, how I ought to behave,

that the doctrine of others, was what made me brave.

Within those confines, I did not flourish, nor grow,

my dreams became limited and desire could not flow.

 

I stumbled along blindly, trying to discern my own way,

ignoring intuition, found her words to be bray.

Mismatched with existence, at great odds with myself,

with no respect for my currency; the coinage of my wealth.

 

Although held by the moon, my fear swelled with each dawn,

my mind strangled freewill, saw any choice as a thorn.

It continually re-routed, just to champion its own plan,

thoughts blurring the edges, of where I ended or began.

 

For years this continued, for years I was lost…

For decades a mere puppet, until my own heart had been crossed.

And as the beating did stop, and all the pieces were shattered,

only then did I awake, to the reality of what mattered.

 

What a fool I had been, but no fool am I now!

There will never be another master, to whom I will bow.

My ache is my own, the true gift of existence,

my courage and self-worth, the real armour of persistence.

Permutations

I’ve seen the blueprints, I’ve seen the plan

The permutations of could, can’t and can

The present’s arrived and taken my hand

Showing me I am everything, but bland

 

My courage unveiled, I know I am strong

The Universe holds me, when my path is wrong

I recognise my judgements, they all come from me

From times when my heart and mind disagree

 

I believe in all that I am, life isn’t a thought

I know what I know; the lessons have been taught

Letting go of old concepts, that no longer serve

Living the life my ego says, I do not deserve

 

There’s no need for control; there never ever was

I followed like a lemming; society saying ‘because’

My concept of perfect, now turned on its head

By unlocking my child, I am no longer dead

 

I cannot be held by projections, or fear

Nor feel an obligation, to those I hold dear

I’m an amazing woman; I’m all my own work

To not live life wondrously, well I’d be a real berk…