My Christmas…

Mrs Brown went to town and bought…

diamond encrusted collars for the Westies,

boxer shorts,

avocado pears,


a copy of Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam,

oil based paints,

an octopus,

a hairbrush,

a spring-loaded pellet gun,

an Indian headdress,

an 8oz fillet giraffe steak,

a forgery of van Gogh’s Sunflowers,

fungal cream for athlete’s foot,

a bottle of Gaviscon,

‘Gorilla’ lubrication for him & for her,

a pair of pink knickers adorned with a red feather,

a ping-pong bat,

a Christmas tree,

6 Cristal champagne glasses,

a Singer sewing machine,

a jet-hose,

a Pansy filled window box,

a red bow tie,

and a shopping trolley…