Melancholy,
lost my dolly,
threw it from the pram.
Along with toys
and other joys,
but I don’t give a damn.
‘This world’, they said
can give you all,
your heart could ever desire.
How wrong they are,
you’ll travel far
but only if on fire.
With passion burning
in your soul,
to step beyond yourself.
To shed your fear
and change the gear,
create a unique goal.
This world, you see,
spins on a thread
of honesty and trust.
Your angel dust,
the you within
will guide you as you tread.
So walk a path
that’s all your own,
embark on your own course.
Ignore words of others,
those well meant brothers
and feel your inner force.
Tag Archives: shiny pebbles
I remember everything…
I remember everything…
Bound and gagged by memory.
The sweat forming between our palms,
cold toes seeking a warm calf;
my atoms trying to fuse
into your touch,
to become more than
my own molecules,
more than the DNA of my birth.
I remember everything…
How they spoke in hushed tones,
not comprehending what I heard.
Squirreling away their insecurities,
secretly storing misinformation
whilst my adolescent mind hibernated.
The fat added to my young bones
as I gorged myself in a no-mans land;
exiled to my room for being too much,
exhibiting too much emotion
for all of us to handle.
I remember everything…
Them desperately trying to stem the flow
of the uncomfortable reality of being human.
Distractions so short-lived.
I became mute, playing charades
with an audience blinded and paralyzed
by their own inadequacies.
My voice raised,
only that they should hear
how lost I felt trying to be them.
I remember everything…
How desperate I was to confirm
to their understanding,
to learn the lines of their script,
of a life that can only be improvised.
Rule upon rule became my yard stick,
constraints doing nothing more than
enabling my own dysfunctional mind;
tricking it, confusing it,
beating it into submission
robbing it of innocent fascination
reinforcing lie upon lie;
that the world belonged to everyone but me.
I remember everything…
Back to Black by Amy Winehouse
He left no time to regret, kept his dick wet
With his same old safe bet
Me, and my head high, and my tears dry
Get on without my guy
You, went back to what you knew, so far removed
From all that we went through
And I, tread, a troubled track, my odds are stacked
I’ll go back to black
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to, I go back to, us
I love you much, it’s not enough
You love blow and I love puff
And life, is like a pipe
And I’m a tiny penny rolling up the walls, inside
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
When I go back to
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to
Black, black, black, black
Black, black, black
I go back to
I go back to
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black
The Whole Shebang
I caught a glimpse
momentarily
of what could be;
the potential of
the whole shebang.
Another kindred spirit
mislaid,
lost too in a familiar life.
Shared dreams, aspirations,
distanced
by circumstance,
united by certainty,
by the belief
that there is so much more…
Mediocrity,
alien
to us both.
Continually searching,
connected
purely by thought.
“Supergirl”
The last peg is stuck fast
in the fertile earth
of my past.
I have kicked,
sworn and cried,
with frustrated understanding,
not noticing
my steadfast hold;
my foot in the door.
One hand tied,
bound by memory.
The other pushing,
pulling,
grasping at straws.
She’s sowing seeds, she’s burning trees
She’s sowing seeds, she’s burning trees
She’s a Super girl, a Super girl
Sunflowers pulled,
mistook
for unfulfilled promises…
My mistake?
Your mistake?
When you’re in love what can go wrong?
The last peg is stuck fast
in the fertile earth
of my past.
I was you…
The end goal,
their sole goal.
A shallow life
bereft of real soul.
They ask,
what it is like
to be old.
To be a postscript
to their prologue;
their ink soaked dreams.
These girls count
their age in fractions.
Eager to experience everything.
To wear it fast and loose.
‘Whatever…’
Blind to their
own beauty.
Individuality main-streamed
A Selfie redeemed
social popularity.
I was you
I tell them.
I was every uncertainty,
every weight,
the hormonal fate
of alien limbs.
Contorting my will
to hide my ignorance,
through a detached indifference.
Perfection is flawed.
I assure them.
I was you,
before I became me.