Eyes continually searching, I check every face

Looking for features my heart can’t erase

Nightly I dream of his touch and his smell

The soft feel of his fragrance, that I know so well

Belief doesn’t do justice to all I held true

Our worlds interwoven with our own unique hue

I held a space in my heart, holding my ego at bay

Took that leap of faith, ignoring what may…

I am growing as well, I am filling my shoes

I want to live my life, like there’s nothing to lose

I know I can do this, I again can be strong

It just feels so strange him not being along

I long to reconnect with my essence and my heart

To trust and believe I can make a new start

I know this is true, I know I am held

That my journey through life is unparalleled

I love him, I long for him, I must wish him farewell

Whether our paths cross again, well no one can tell

So I look down, taking the hand of the eight year old me

Knowing that I, and only I, can be the best I can be

I’ve seen the blueprints, I’ve seen the plan

The permutations of could, can’t and can

Life’s come and grabbed me by the hand

Presence showing me I’m everything but bland

My courage unveiled, I know I am strong

The Universe holds me, when my path is wrong

I recognise my judgements, they all come from me

From times when my heart and mind disagree

I believe in all that I am, life isn’t a thought

I know what I know; the lessons have been taught

Letting go of old concepts, that no longer serve

Living the life my ego says I don’t deserve

There’s no need for control; there never ever was

I followed like a lemming; society saying because

My concept of perfect now turned on its head

By unlocking my child, I am no longer dead

I cannot be held by projections or fear

Or feel an obligation to those I hold dear

I’m a wondrous woman; I’m all my own work

To not live life wondrously, well I’d be a real berk

His new white shoes

Were a pleasure to behold

Why he wore them in the rain

Cannot really be told

They’re trendy. They’re cool

They are all he can be

They show that he’s stylish

They scream, look at me!

He dabs with a cloth

And smudges a mark

To keep them spotless

He should have avoided the park

But they’re trendy. They’re cool

They are all he can be

They show that he’s stylish

Give him his ID

In the swell of the crowd

His toes feel the squeeze

People walking, not looking

Fill his shoes with unease

But they’re trendy. They’re cool

They are all he can be

They show that he’s stylish

A true wannabe

Arriving where he’s going

He looks to the floor

And sees that his new shoes

Are not white anymore

But they’re trendy. They’re cool

They are all he can be

They show that he’s stylish

That he’s a fashion devotee

Drowning

In vocabulary

Diction unabated

Killing spontaneity

Inability to discern

Language

Mind abused

Confidence shredded

Thoughts clogged

Ego relishing

Chaos reigning

Unabated

Destructive

Allowance

Then surrender

Acceptance

Of programming

Observations

Leading to

Silence

As I started to remove my mind’s eye from its hold

I would take a deep breath, to keep myself bold

Stay present. I told myself. Observe all your thoughts

Find your cowardly ego; it won’t want to be caught

It’s played tricks on my heart and tricks on my soul

And at times it felt like it had taken control

Yet my spirit held fast, never giving an inch

And slowly my ego, it did feel the pinch

I knew it was time for me to help it along

Told it, ‘you are not welcome; no longer belong’

It tried to dig deep, create chaos in my head

It tried to hold me back, and fill me with dread

It tried to tell lies to my being and mind set

It tried to keep my feelings of love in its debt

But I was wise to its antics, its slight turn of phrase

So I stopped paying it attention; removed myself from its gaze

It tried to get my attention, every which way

Tried to pin me to my past, just to have its own say

It’s days were numbered you see, I recognised a foe

And without my consent, it was not free to grow

Don’t be held back by old programming or fear

Have a deep knowing, allow your Spirit to steer

Know that others can never tell you your truth

Don’t buy into society’s obsession with youth

Be kind to yourself, let your self-love grow strong

You’ll discover uniqueness, shine out from the throng

Too many people just look and don’t see

Without heartfelt gratitude, you’ll never be free

Make amends to yourself, don’t judge your mistakes

To travel that road only causes heartache

Feel your power, the ground under your feet

Step into potential as you turn over the sheet

We are limitless, it’s true! I don’t tell a lie

The Universe will always look you in the eye

It only requires an honest leap of faith

It is not your ego that makes you feel safe