For Owen

He was different for me

As he was different for you.

Commonalities far beyond

Shared blood; a shared ancestry

Stretching way back.

It’s looking forward that smacks me in the face,

No longer able to trace

His breath in the distance.

Knowing and feeling merge into one.

A gripping pain

That hurts.

A cobweb of empathy

Intertwines continents

As does a sense of uselessness.

What’s done is done,

The end of a run

Of a man.

Not understanding,

Not withstanding 

The illogical logic,

That must have blinded him.

His head swallowing his heart whole,

Taking him away.

Truth

We all have

an incessant need

to feed;

to fill the void

with scraps… leftovers…

half hearted thoughts…

witty retorts,

left suspended.

Gorging on words,

choked of all meaning,

lubricating intent

with watered down small talk.

Self-aware exclosure

heart wrenching exposure,

of telling it

like it is.

A muted hiss

that leads you

nowhere.

Biting into the apple,

exposing your humanity,

your veiled insanity

that everyday chitchat

attempts to hide.

Layer upon layer

of well sculpted ideas,

visible through the tears

of a truth

you cannot speak.

Starved

I can’t hear.

I can’t think straight.

My mind and body starved.

Reason fighting with fate,

obstinately refusing to accept

that there is anything wrong.

My body inert,

a barren mass

fighting itself,

fighting its fears.

Scared to step aside

and make way

to hope…

Is it possible?

Possible to become

familiar with yourself?

To accept and acknowledge

every intricacy,

every human nuance?

To discern the purpose;

its value in surrender,

to my own brilliance…?

and imperfection…?

in equal measure.

Undersold

Promises were made

in the darkness of shadows.

A reality filling the spaces

between whispered intent.

Oxygen breathing

life into the fiery belly

of a fictional world

where truth is misspent.

Love undersold

in a heartless transaction.

It’s previous owner

removed all the tags.

No longer shiny

it bares the hallmarks of lonely.

Its beauty hidden

beneath a soiled layer of rags.

Betrayal

The empty page beckons me. The

metaphor not lost on my heart,

where the blood pumps

steady, moving gently through

the scarred atriums.

The pieces of my life scattered when

you betrayed my trust, blurring

my horizon into obscurity.

Your love withdrawn silently.

A wordless retraction, without honour

or thought, beyond keeping yourself safe.

I watched you closely, searching

the no man’s land you had created. Cowardly

retreating into a foreign bunker, held

by the mind of a woman, steadfast

on fulfilling her own desires. Greedy,

with her own lust, to possess

what was not hers to possess.