Leap of Faith

Your dreams filled my mind,

replacing logic

with a desire

to escape from the drudgery

of a dog-eared life.

Unrealistic

perhaps

in its offering.

A one-sided expectation,

to leap into the arms,

of not even a promise.

Abundant willingness,

tethered to the reality of experience;

the scars of my healed past,

rightly lighting my way.

Both of us deaf,

to the pulse and beat of the other.

Judged by tone and geography

rather than the sensory magic

of meeting in the flesh.

Permutations

I’ve seen the blueprints, I’ve seen the plan

The permutations of could, can’t and can

The present’s arrived and taken my hand

Showing me I am everything, but bland

 

My courage unveiled, I know I am strong

The Universe holds me, when my path is wrong

I recognise my judgements, they all come from me

From times when my heart and mind disagree

 

I believe in all that I am, life isn’t a thought

I know what I know; the lessons have been taught

Letting go of old concepts, that no longer serve

Living the life my ego says, I do not deserve

 

There’s no need for control; there never ever was

I followed like a lemming; society saying ‘because’

My concept of perfect, now turned on its head

By unlocking my child, I am no longer dead

 

I cannot be held by projections, or fear

Nor feel an obligation, to those I hold dear

I’m an amazing woman; I’m all my own work

To not live life wondrously, well I’d be a real berk…

No Coward Soul Is Mine. By Emily Brontë

Emily Brontë has been called one of the great English lyric poets and has found admirers among other poets. Emily Dickinson thought so highly of Emily Brontë’s poetry that she chose “No coward soul” to be read at her funeral.

No coward soul is mine

No trembler in the world’s storm-troubled sphere

I see Heaven‘s glories shine

And Faith shines equal arming me from Fear

 

O God within my breast

Almighty ever-present Deity

Life, that in me hast rest,

As I Undying Life, have power in Thee

 

Vain are the thousand creeds

That move men’s hearts, unutterably vain,

Worthless as withered weeds

Or idlest froth amid the boundless main

 

To waken doubt in one

Holding so fast by thy infinity,

So surely anchored on

The steadfast rock of Immortality.

 

With wide-embracing love

Thy spirit animates eternal years

Pervades and broods above,

Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates and rears

 

Though earth and moon were gone

And suns and universes ceased to be

And Thou wert left alone

Every Existence would exist in thee

 

There is not room for Death

Nor atom that his might could render void

Since thou art Being and Breath

And what thou art may never be destroyed.

Betrayal

The empty page beckons me. The

metaphor not lost on my heart,

where the blood pumps

steady, moving gently through

the scarred atriums.

The pieces of my life scattered when

you betrayed my trust, blurring

my horizon into obscurity.

Your love withdrawn silently.

A wordless retraction, without honour

or thought, beyond keeping yourself safe.

I watched you closely, searching

the no man’s land you had created. Cowardly

retreating into a foreign bunker, held

by the mind of a woman, steadfast

on fulfilling her own desires. Greedy,

with her own lust, to possess

what was not hers to possess.

Destiny

Destiny

How many degrees separate us

On this axis of life?

Where are you

That we remain strangers?

Have our paths crossed

As we invisibly amble?

Do you breathe unawareness

Malnourished also

By overpopulation?

Seek refuge in your heart

Destiny calls us

Unique to our quest

Waiting in the wings

For our paths to cross

Letting go of the outcome and trusting the process

Finding happiness in life is about having acceptance of who you are and taking enormous pride in that.  By learning about yourself and letting go of limiting beliefs, you allow yourself to find a level of peace that you may have thought previously unobtainable.  When your mind starts to quieten, an inner love and approval starts to grow.  It is not about reaching a certain place or point, for life to begin; for happiness to be attained.  There IS only this very moment and by projecting onto a future that may hold allure, you are limiting yourself, as your mind only creates what it knows.

Enlightenment therefore is not the holy grail, something for others to obtain, it is a way of being and letting go in equal measure and is possible for everyone.  A full life is not a measurement; it is not something that can be gained through comparison or coveting the life of another, no matter how sorted that person may appear.

The ego looks for recognition of its achievements, ‘if I do this or that, then I will get the adoration I feel I deserve’.  This is a false way of thinking; a false goal and is the dichotomy of success, as we often think success is the attainment of money or status.  Yet internal success is nothing more than a feeling of ease and of contentment.  It is not about looking to others, trying to replicate their actions and behaviour, in order to attain the perceived happiness you naively project onto them.  It is about looking inwards.

Do you sometimes listen to others speaking loudly about themselves and their achievements?  Yet with each telling of the same story, you suspect that this reiteration is nothing more than them convincing themselves that they are safe and validating their choices to themselves and others, perhaps to silence their own inner critic.

The routine of society, the explicate order of what we ‘think’ is required in order to fit in with others, creates nothing more than a sense of separation.  The requirement to be happy then becomes based on the expectations of others, as well as of ourselves.  Accumulation of experiences and achievements keep you on a treadmill; a never-ending cycle, where nothing is ever quite enough.

Do you find yourself looking forward to special moments and events, yet on their arrival, find your expectations are never fulfilled?  This is because you are looking outside of yourself for ways to stop the chatter of your mind.  Do you believe in others more than you believe in yourself?  The more faith you put in others, the more you will shrink and keep yourself small, scared of owning your own behaviour, believing you are not worthy.  Do you ignore your intuition, the voice of your heart and soul begging you to let go of this unfounded fear?  Your mind will suck you in if you allow it, and the negative thoughts will engulf you and became louder and louder as you give them more credence.

Doubting your ability and questioning your purpose, or waiting for someone to ‘fix’ you, is the biggest disservice you can do yourself.  Putting off life until ‘so and so’ has happened… or there is more money in the bank… or until you have more time, in order to start enjoying life, means you constantly adapt yourself and constrain yourself, looking to the future or the past rather than living and just ‘being’ in the present moment.  You start to value others’ attainments and opinions, believing that others know something you don’t.

Self-belief is not a measurement.  It is not a word or a feeling.  It is a knowing and a way of being that evaporates the world of comparison.

Your life is unique to you!  Learning to enjoy your own company is the biggest gift you can give yourself.  Loneliness comes when you project a sense of lack, or that something or someone is missing, onto your life.  That your life ‘would’ be more full, surrounded by others.  Don’t be scared of your exuberance or your desires or of meeting your own needs.  Listen to your fears and recognise that they do not serve you in any way.  You are not like everyone else, no one is.  So you don’t know how your life is going to look, well that’s okay.  So you may never understand many things in life, well that’s also okay.  Because to trust in life and trust in yourself is to embark on your own hero’s journey.  It is about being honest with yourself and listening to your intuition.  It is not about being outwardly successful. It is about finding your own inner peace and accepting yourself for all that you are, knowing that on a spiritual level you chose to be here, in this lifetime, in this body, and the surest way to achieve this is by letting go of the outcome and trusting the process.