Letting go of the outcome and trusting the process

Finding happiness in life is about having acceptance of who you are and taking enormous pride in that.  By learning about yourself and letting go of limiting beliefs, you allow yourself to find a level of peace that you may have thought previously unobtainable.  When your mind starts to quieten, an inner love and approval starts to grow.  It is not about reaching a certain place or point, for life to begin; for happiness to be attained.  There IS only this very moment and by projecting onto a future that may hold allure, you are limiting yourself, as your mind only creates what it knows.

Enlightenment therefore is not the holy grail, something for others to obtain, it is a way of being and letting go in equal measure and is possible for everyone.  A full life is not a measurement; it is not something that can be gained through comparison or coveting the life of another, no matter how sorted that person may appear.

The ego looks for recognition of its achievements, ‘if I do this or that, then I will get the adoration I feel I deserve’.  This is a false way of thinking; a false goal and is the dichotomy of success, as we often think success is the attainment of money or status.  Yet internal success is nothing more than a feeling of ease and of contentment.  It is not about looking to others, trying to replicate their actions and behaviour, in order to attain the perceived happiness you naively project onto them.  It is about looking inwards.

Do you sometimes listen to others speaking loudly about themselves and their achievements?  Yet with each telling of the same story, you suspect that this reiteration is nothing more than them convincing themselves that they are safe and validating their choices to themselves and others, perhaps to silence their own inner critic.

The routine of society, the explicate order of what we ‘think’ is required in order to fit in with others, creates nothing more than a sense of separation.  The requirement to be happy then becomes based on the expectations of others, as well as of ourselves.  Accumulation of experiences and achievements keep you on a treadmill; a never-ending cycle, where nothing is ever quite enough.

Do you find yourself looking forward to special moments and events, yet on their arrival, find your expectations are never fulfilled?  This is because you are looking outside of yourself for ways to stop the chatter of your mind.  Do you believe in others more than you believe in yourself?  The more faith you put in others, the more you will shrink and keep yourself small, scared of owning your own behaviour, believing you are not worthy.  Do you ignore your intuition, the voice of your heart and soul begging you to let go of this unfounded fear?  Your mind will suck you in if you allow it, and the negative thoughts will engulf you and became louder and louder as you give them more credence.

Doubting your ability and questioning your purpose, or waiting for someone to ‘fix’ you, is the biggest disservice you can do yourself.  Putting off life until ‘so and so’ has happened… or there is more money in the bank… or until you have more time, in order to start enjoying life, means you constantly adapt yourself and constrain yourself, looking to the future or the past rather than living and just ‘being’ in the present moment.  You start to value others’ attainments and opinions, believing that others know something you don’t.

Self-belief is not a measurement.  It is not a word or a feeling.  It is a knowing and a way of being that evaporates the world of comparison.

Your life is unique to you!  Learning to enjoy your own company is the biggest gift you can give yourself.  Loneliness comes when you project a sense of lack, or that something or someone is missing, onto your life.  That your life ‘would’ be more full, surrounded by others.  Don’t be scared of your exuberance or your desires or of meeting your own needs.  Listen to your fears and recognise that they do not serve you in any way.  You are not like everyone else, no one is.  So you don’t know how your life is going to look, well that’s okay.  So you may never understand many things in life, well that’s also okay.  Because to trust in life and trust in yourself is to embark on your own hero’s journey.  It is about being honest with yourself and listening to your intuition.  It is not about being outwardly successful. It is about finding your own inner peace and accepting yourself for all that you are, knowing that on a spiritual level you chose to be here, in this lifetime, in this body, and the surest way to achieve this is by letting go of the outcome and trusting the process.

My African Friend

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My African friend, she shows me much strength

Although she’s just four, she is on my wavelength

Her Mother, she died, so suddenly one year

Yet she remains always smiling, from ear to ear

 

To have such a purpose, from such a young age

It heals my heart, while I turn my own page

She shines oh so brightly and holds life so dear

She shows me in life, that there’s nothing to fear

 

There’s much we can learn, from our own inner child

It teaches us not be meek, or be mild

Her purse it is poor, but her life is so full

She has won me over; shown me how to stand tall

 

So much time looking back, trying to fathom a reason

When instead we should be living, just season to season

The power of innocence, is so shiny and pure

It can heal your soul and your spirit it can cure

 

Her beauty shines through, her ever-present eyes

Showing me that love, is something, you cannot disguise

She’s honest, she’s genuine, she’s herself at her core

She’s an Angel in life, whom I love and adore

I intend to live out my purpose, being happily grandiose

I wrote this poem a year ago.  At that time, my deepest fears had become a reality and I was dealing with a great deal of heartache.  I was beginning to accept that nothing is certain in life and was starting to let go of the perceptions I had about myself and others.  Looking back now, a year later, I am able to start connecting the dots.  At the time of writing this poem I was still learning to love myself and let go of the outcome, truly trusting the process.  So, I am sharing this poem again, as the words are now music to my ears. Time, as the old adage goes, IS a great healer.  Life cannot be forced, there will be wonderful times and times of great sadness, when we struggle to understand the reasons and purpose of certain situations, but remember, we are never given more than we can handle and in the depths of despair, seek comfort in the fact that these moments will pass and you will emerge, as I did, stronger than you ever thought possible.  Seize the day my friends.  Seize it and run wild with it!

 

The book bound by sadness, is reaching its end

It’s a one-off edition, no sequels to be penned

Held safe, spine to spine, it has really been my mate

It has taught me it’s wise, not to know my own fate

 

There are many, many chapters, all charting the course

Of a heart-broken woman, getting back on her horse

Tear stained pages, still hold their print well

And on reading them back, I am eased from my shell

 

My repetitive mantras, all laced with emotion

Held me responsible to myself and have set me in motion

I turned, facing my fear and caught my own eye

Recognising limitations, were what made me shy

 

Allowance. Allowing. We are designed to be our best

By letting go of control and letting life do the rest

It’s okay not to know, it’s okay to have joy

It’s fantastic knowing I’m everything but the boy

 

The final pages of resolution, all fill up with light

The potential and possibilities, revealed in plain sight

It is now and forever, the door is open and won’t close

I intend to live out my purpose, being happily grandiose

Expect to Expect

Expect life to teach you, all you need know

Expect to reap just, as much as you sow

Expect to receive, all the love you are worth

Expect to discover, your soul purpose of birth

Expect to make sense, of the lessons you’ll learn

Expect to have times, when you’ll need to discern

Expect life to give you, what you need at that time

Expect to face peaks, over which you must climb

Expect to be taught, that truth is not always told

Expect to have moments, when you’ll have to be bold

Expect to find love, to be swept off your feet

Expect to be honoured, by those who mistreat

Expect to expect, you are one of a kind

Expect you are just, as the Universe designed

Everyone’s Story

Life is not busy

Only thoughts make it so

We individually choose

How to flourish and grow

 

Sit quietly with your mind

Resist any projection

Too much thinking just leads

To unsafe introspection

 

Have love in your heart

Let it be a deep feeling

It is only our minds

That create our own ceiling

 

Live generously of spirit

We’re all one and the same

The energy that flows through you

Is for everyone’s gain

 

Spend time with your loved ones

Sharing moments in full

Know that honesty, integrity

Are what powers, us all

 

Mankind often confuses

What’s right and what’s wrong

Don’t make gossip and drama

Your own unique song

 

We are equally responsible

No one person’s worth more

As the Universe unravels

Look at everything in awe

 

Everyone’s story

Has a right to be told

Do not judge or control

Just let life unfold

This Much I Know

Routes are unmapped

And the journey is long

But you’ll know where you’re going

And the places you belong

 

There’ll be choices you’ve made

That you wish to forget

And there’ll be others you retell

Just as oft as you’re let

 

Experiences will shape you

With their pattern and design

And when you join up the dots

You can rejoice and not whine

 

Long days can be followed

By nights spent awake

As you accept your own truth

And you stop being fake

 

There’s no curtain call here

In this show we call life

Stepping out of your way

Is how to live without strife

 

It’s for real, no rehearsals

It won’t always make sense

In a world full of players

Packed crowded and dense

 

But there’s this that I know

That I’ve seen on the faces

Of the people looking busy

As they rush to their places

 

There’s no fixed destination

I repeat, as it’s true

As your meaning in life

Is defined just by you