Misguided Fear

Integrity holds my gaze.

Her virtues shining,

obscured no more

by the will of others,

whose pain adopted my heart.

My eyes hold firm,

her standards,

my mirror image.

My attention momentarily lost,

I look away

and see doubt standing

in the corner.

The universally, unwelcome guest,

with an air of entitlement,

like she owns the place.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

An energetic vampire,

a conviction sucking leach.

I’m surprised she’s got the nerve,

the nerve to show her face…

I turn back to my reflection,

ignoring the fraudulent baiting.

The catcall of unworthy venom,

that spews from her distorted fear.

Our fear.

My fear.

My fear of believing

I am everything and more.

My fear

of knowing, I am everything and more.

My fear.

That cumbersome weight

with no mass.

My fear.

My misguided fear.

Your misguided fear.

A poem a day…

I took up the challenge, with gusto and pride

For the next thirty days, I was set to abide

To create on the hoof, or create at my desk

A poem a day, that would be statuesque

Some days words would flow, with delight and accord

On others I would feel, like a veritable fraud

There were sandwiches prepared, that were fit for a Queen

The importance of reconciling, with all that had been

I remembered my lover, wondering where he was now

Felt the warmth of the sunshine, upon my smooth brow

I considered the advice, of what others thought best

I couldn’t sleep due to nightmares, was unable to rest

There were unconscious connections, abound between friends

And what I would do, with the global dividends

I encouraged all to wake up;  go out seize the day

To be vigilant of individuals, who get in the way

There was the woman who created, her very own demise

To live with integrity, means no compromise

Tensions were broken, and then calmness did reign

I suggested frivolity, can help you keep sane

There are friends to avoid; we all know the type…

I didn’t care, to care, and took a moment to gripe

I suspended old beliefs, within the cosmos of space

Letting life simply play out; we are not in a race

In a grand banqueting hall, was more mention of food

A reminder that we’re enough, and should all be valued

That by knowing our truth, we become our own master

And that when loneliness comes, it is not a disaster

In finding your own rhythm, you will dance to your beat

So don’t do too much thinking, or vocally excrete

So I thank you for reading, for all taking the time

For a month full of prose, of which, some did rhyme.

And with that you went…

There’s no more to say

Vocabulary’s all spent

I had pledged my heart

I’d pledged every cent

In the depths of the promise

I drowned in intent

Believed you regretted

Could say what you meant

Sincerest, regards

And with that you went

Slamming the door in your wake

Not an ounce of lament

Honesty

Honesty, ever elusive

if you’ve only got your back

Honesty, far more

than coveting what you lack

 

Honesty, not letters

conveyed in two-dimensional form

Honesty, not words

resulting from a brainstorm

 

Honesty, can’t support

delusional stories that you tell

Honesty, not existent

unless in alignment you dwell

 

Honesty, is love

with the truth at its core

Honesty, egoless

it’s for the collective to soar

 

Honesty, benefitting

enabling all those it serves

Honesty, crossing fingers

really gets on my nerves

 

Honesty, the intention

to always act from your heart

Honesty, the connection

for a new world to impart

I intend to live out my purpose, being happily grandiose

The book bound by sadness, is reaching its end

It’s a one-off edition, no sequels to be penned

Held safe, spine to spine, it has really been my mate

It has taught me it’s wise, not to know my own fate

 

There are many, many chapters, all charting the course

Of a heart-broken woman, getting back on her horse

Tear stained pages, still hold their print well

And on reading them back, I am eased from my shell

 

My repetitive mantras, all laced with emotion

Held me responsible to myself and have set me in motion

I turned, facing my fear and caught my own eye

Recognising limitations, were what made me shy

 

Allowance. Allowing. We are designed to be our best

By letting go of control and letting life do the rest

It’s okay not to know, it’s okay to have joy

It’s fantastic knowing I’m everything but the boy

 

The final pages of resolution, all fill up with light

The potential and possibilities, revealed in plain sight

It is now and forever, the door is open and won’t close

I intend to live out my purpose, being happily grandiose

I know I’m everything and more

The shove came from nowhere

Not a person in sight

Propelled into the present

I have reached my full height

 

My knowing, it became thinking

And I filled up my shoes

Recognising my potential

No longer scared, win or lose

 

It’s impossible to plan the future

To be able to map what will be

By looking ahead and not living

You’re surely lacking unity

 

Now I’m guided by the waist

The Universe offering me its hand

I’m reassured by its presence

No longer wanting to withstand

 

I’m not going back to sleep

Buoyed up by possibilities in store

It’s going to be more than alright

I know I’m everything and more