Your dreams filled my mind,
replacing logic
with a desire
to escape from the drudgery
of a dog-eared life.
Unrealistic
perhaps
in its offering.
A one-sided expectation,
to leap into the arms,
of not even a promise.
Abundant willingness,
tethered to the reality of experience;
the scars of my healed past,
rightly lighting my way.
Both of us deaf,
to the pulse and beat of the other.
Judged by tone and geography
rather than the sensory magic
of meeting in the flesh.
As a child I was told, how I ought to behave,
that the doctrine of others, was what made me brave.
Within those confines, I did not flourish, nor grow,
my dreams became limited and desire could not flow.
I stumbled along blindly, trying to discern my own way,
ignoring intuition, found her words to be bray.
Mismatched with existence, at great odds with myself,
with no respect for my currency; the coinage of my wealth.
Although held by the moon, my fear swelled with each dawn,
my mind strangled freewill, saw any choice as a thorn.
It continually re-routed, just to champion its own plan,
thoughts blurring the edges, of where I ended or began.
For years this continued, for years I was lost…
For decades a mere puppet, until my own heart had been crossed.
And as the beating did stop, and all the pieces were shattered,
only then did I awake, to the reality of what mattered.
What a fool I had been, but no fool am I now!
There will never be another master, to whom I will bow.
My ache is my own, the true gift of existence,
my courage and self-worth, the real armour of persistence.
I’ve seen the blueprints, I’ve seen the plan
The permutations of could, can’t and can
The present’s arrived and taken my hand
Showing me I am everything, but bland
My courage unveiled, I know I am strong
The Universe holds me, when my path is wrong
I recognise my judgements, they all come from me
From times when my heart and mind disagree
I believe in all that I am, life isn’t a thought
I know what I know; the lessons have been taught
Letting go of old concepts, that no longer serve
Living the life my ego says, I do not deserve
There’s no need for control; there never ever was
I followed like a lemming; society saying ‘because’
My concept of perfect, now turned on its head
By unlocking my child, I am no longer dead
I cannot be held by projections, or fear
Nor feel an obligation, to those I hold dear
I’m an amazing woman; I’m all my own work
To not live life wondrously, well I’d be a real berk…
No longer an uninvited visitor…
with the voyeurism of an inquisitor.
Enlisting the engines of obscurity,
satisfying nothing more, than bit-form curiosity.
With control, I alt-delete my recent history,
the continual refresh button of adultery.
Hiding from myself that I so, so cared.
I return home, clearing the screen of how he fared.
In his absence, he slowly scrolls out of view,
without needing to restart, I am able to renew.
Disappearing off the monitor of life, with a click,
with the apparent ease, of one dipping their wick.
Updates downloading of their own accord,
virus free, I log into the new and unexplored.
Replacing my old software with a new program,
seeing through the self-created hologram.
Emily Brontë has been called one of the great English lyric poets and has found admirers among other poets. Emily Dickinson thought so highly of Emily Brontë’s poetry that she chose “No coward soul” to be read at her funeral.
No coward soul is mine
No trembler in the world’s storm-troubled sphere
I see Heaven‘s glories shine
And Faith shines equal arming me from Fear
O God within my breast
Almighty ever-present Deity
Life, that in me hast rest,
As I Undying Life, have power in Thee
Vain are the thousand creeds
That move men’s hearts, unutterably vain,
Worthless as withered weeds
Or idlest froth amid the boundless main
To waken doubt in one
Holding so fast by thy infinity,
So surely anchored on
The steadfast rock of Immortality.
With wide-embracing love
Thy spirit animates eternal years
Pervades and broods above,
Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates and rears
Though earth and moon were gone
And suns and universes ceased to be
And Thou wert left alone
Every Existence would exist in thee
There is not room for Death
Nor atom that his might could render void
Since thou art Being and Breath
And what thou art may never be destroyed.
Integrity holds my gaze.
Her virtues shining,
obscured no more
by the will of others,
whose pain adopted my heart.
My eyes hold firm,
her standards,
my mirror image.
My attention momentarily lost,
I look away
and see doubt standing
in the corner.
The universally, unwelcome guest,
with an air of entitlement,
like she owns the place.
A wolf in sheep’s clothing.
An energetic vampire,
a conviction sucking leach.
I’m surprised she’s got the nerve,
the nerve to show her face…
I turn back to my reflection,
ignoring the fraudulent baiting.
The catcall of unworthy venom,
that spews from her distorted fear.
Our fear.
My fear.
My fear of believing
I am everything and more.
My fear
of knowing, I am everything and more.
My fear.
That cumbersome weight
with no mass.
My fear.
My misguided fear.
Your misguided fear.
shiny pebbles 